Dearest Housemate,
How did you know, that I love waking up on a miserable Monday morning, an hour to get to my lecture, to find that you have so kindly finished off my milk? It's not like I actually wanted that tea and cereal that I was about to make anyway. And this after you kept me awake till the early hours of the morning, slamming doors, whistling, bathing at ungodly hours. How delightful.
Rest assured that I will cherish the next 7 weeks that we spend living together before we go our separate ways. My mugs and cutlery will find it so unnerving next year, when you are not there to remove them from the safety of their cupboard, bang them together for a few minutes, and discard them willy nilly, as you see fit. And I too will find it unnerving, to find them where I left them. Clean and tidy. Not covered in your filth.
Yours kindly,
The fool who signed a contract to live with you.
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