Thursday, 7 June 2012

In which I don't understand Americans

Wandering around one of these new generation old-fashioned-sweet-shop-cum-American-import-money makers, I came across Pop Tarts. I've never tried them, so, having resisted a Mango dress and a Gap trench coat, I decided to treat myself.

As I understand it, Americans eat these for breakfast. Not wanting to appear too keen, I settled for an 11am brunch. Opening the packet, this is not what I like my brunch to look like:

I've eaten fairy cakes with less icing. And what's that coloured stuff? It looks like someone, in attempt to legitimately be able to classify this as a breakfast item, has ground up some Froot Loops and sprinkled them on. Alas, they did not taste like Froot Loops.

Having done the whole toasting business (I am now an even firmer believer of the fact that the only thing that should ever go in a toaster is bread) I was stumped; unsure whether this was a cutlery or fingers type of food, I grabbed a fork and got stuck in.

The savoury pastry around the edge (dry and crumbly, but not in a good way) completely contrasted the sugar rush in the centre.

The strawberry "jam" tastes like the filling of a snack I used to have in primary school, Yum Tums. Yeah, remember them?!? Little bear shaped cakes with a strawberry or chocolate filling?  The difference being that Yum Tums (not to be confused with the horror that is a Yum Yum) tasted good.

Whilst I commend Americans on their application of sugar and e numbers to breakfast cereals, they should leave pastry to the Europeans.

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