I have this thing about... novelty clutch bags

Image: Zeny Rosalina/Unsplash

OK, so here's the deal. I'm stuck at home for an indefinite period, but I've finally got my blogging mojo back. So while I can't blog about the latest afternoon teas (god, I miss scones), I'm taking the opportunity to blog about some of the things in my own home, for anyone who wants to get to know me a bit better.

First up, one of my long-term obsessions - novelty clutch and shoulder bags. I've never been the sort of woman to obsess about handbags (though I wouldn't kick a Mulberry Bayswater out of my wardrobe...), and I've got a reputation in my family for never travelling light, stuffing my Mary Poppins-esque bags full of books and knitting wool and other objects whose presence confuse everyone else but make perfect sense to me.

That said, I've always been fascinated by items that look like other items, if you can untangle my trail of thought to see what I mean. So I'm inviting you to have a rummage through my novelty bag collection.

Clock face bag

The founding member of my novelty clutch bag collection, this shoulder bag was an Accessorize special, long enough ago now that no-one else seems to have the same one.  Clock faces are another of my obsessions, and although the hands don't move on this one, it's an elegant bag that works for smart and casual occasions.

Milkshake shoulder bag

This one probably has the best story behind it, as it wasn't originally destined for my own wardrobe. I spotted it at a fair a couple of years ago, and it immediately reminded me of a friend, who I knew would love it. I'd just handed over the dosh to pay for it, and was stuffing the handbag into my overflowing shopping tote bag, when who should pop up behind me but the aforementioned friend? She clocked the bag straight away, and loved it.

 "I know you do" I thought, " that's why I'm buying it for you". So the surprise was ruined and I had to find an alternative Christmas present for her. But on the plus side, I kept the bag for myself.

Mickey Mouse disco ball shoulder bag

There's a rapidly growing subsection of my novelty bag collection - Disney bags. It started with this disco ball special from Primark, a glittering, shiny, '80s-style rendition of everyone's favourite cartoon mouse, which is now a staple of my Christmas party outfit every year, and never fails to reel in the compliments. Unusually for a budget brand, it hasn't lost any of its sparkle yet.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse sequin bag

Remember the double-sided sequin phase of 2018? It mated with Cath Kidston's Mickey and Minnie range, resulting in the birth of this absolute beaut. It can be worn as a shoulder bag, or with a simple wrist strap, and best of all, it's a decent size, meaning that it works for those occasions when I embrace my inner Rory Gilmore and take a book to a party*. I could also give you names of several of my acquaintances who I've caught subconsciously stroking my bag while talking to me. But I won't.

*An actual thing that I've been known to do. To be fair, most parties I go to these days are in London, which involves an hour train journey to get there, and I'm usually trying to save my phone battery.

Mickey Mouse shorts bag

A continuation of my Disney collection, I picked this one up in a small boutique in Spain, though I've seen similar designs available elsewhere. Gets used more than my other Disney bags due to the fact that it doesn't scream 'PAR-TAY'.

Fox clutch bag

There's no grand story behind this one - I saw a bag, back in 2012 when I still lived in York, I liked it, I had some birthday money, I bought it. I've used it a couple of times over the years but it's too small to really be practical. That said, I did enjoy stuffing all my paraphernalia into it when I went to see Fleabag in the theatre last summer. If you know, you know.

Toucan clutch bag

In September 2017, we spent a fortnight in Bulgaria. For reasons I won't go into, the holiday was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, resulting in a substantial refund from Thomas Cook (remember them?) on our return. The one (literally) silver lining was this toucan clutch bag, which I picked up at a little boutique just outside our hotel. I'm a sucker for renderings in embroidery, and love that this is slightly larger than your average clutch bag (yep, more space for party books), while still being flat enough to take up very little suitcase room.

Summer bag

'Novelty' might be stretching this one, but it was love at first sight when we crossed paths in TK Maxx in Harrogate. It was an unusually warm afternoon in April, and summer was pushing its way to the front of everyone's minds. Nevertheless, I resisted. I resisted my way out of the handbag section, I resisted back out of the shop and halfway down the escalator before shopper's regret kicked in, and I went back for it.

So there you have it - the way to my heart is a novelty clutch or shoulder bag, the more outlandish the better. If you're looking to start your own novelty bag collection, Kate Spade is one of the most creative brands out there (the Kate Spade Taxi Bag will always be the one that got away), though Vendula London has some cute offerings at the more affordable end of the market, and for absolute bargains, I've noticed recently that online brand Shein has some unusual bags, if you have the patience to wade through the site. Otherwise it's a case of keeping your eyes peeled in high street stores, and at vintage, charity and thrift stores for the more unusual finds.