Things are off to a whimsical start at Charlie and the Chocolate Factory afternoon tea, as we're presented with menus adorned with doodles of Dahl's own characters. The Salt family and co. inform us of the feast we're about to tuck into, including quite the array of teas. The cocoa tea turns out to be be a fine choice, smelling deliciously of chocolate but retaining a subtle taste which works as the ideal palette cleanser between courses. The hot chocolate, although fine, is nothing special.
That sets the tone for the entire meal. There's no theatricality behind the meal, no dedication to the theme beyond those menus. It's Roald Dahl for goodness sake, Willy Wonka - the master of theatricality. The Alice Tea Party afternoon tea may have left something to be desired in terms of service, but at least it committed to the theme with playing cards and hatter's hats strewn around the room, a pearl necklace draped across the sugar bowl. Here though, nothing.
Our first course arrives, a selection of savouries consisting of two sandwiches each, a brioche roll and a mini quiche. The sandwiches and roll are fine, nothing standout, and the quiche is a warm, tasty mouthful, but highlight of this course are the cheese scones served with bacon jam. We're disappointed that the food hasn't arrived on the traditional tiered stand, but when the next course arrives, the reason for this becomes clear.
We're delivered a shared bread basket full of mixed baked goodies. The plain scones are served with the traditional cream and jam, and an added bonus of lemon curd, which I enjoyed but my friend found too bitter. The banana and walnut mini loaf cakes also pass the test - fruit cake isn't really my thing, but it's tasty nonetheless. Highlight though, are the chocolate financiers (brownies, basically), little teardrop shaped droplets of gooey, chocolatey heaven.
And then we're on to the final flourish, the sweet course. Served on a podium, we've got; chocolate and caramel milkshake, candy floss, chocolate eggs filled with cheesecake, a blueberry and white chocolate cake pop and a bubblegum panna cotta.
Ok, the presentation's cute (yes, we both consider stowing those mini glass bottles away in our handbags until we think the better of it), but there's still nothing 'Charlie' about it. The chocolate and caramel milkshake is delish, but things peak there. The panna cotta is sweet and inoffensive, the cake pop fails in texture and tries to overcompensate in taste. The candy floss is... well, it's candy floss.
In a flurry of misguided optimism, we leave those chocolate eggs until last. The cheesecake filling is so sweet, we end up scraping it out onto our plates. As it turns out, the filling was all that was masking the fact that it's cheap, nasty chocolate. The eggs remain uneaten (and the chef could learn a thing or two from whoever puts together those delicious white chocolate egg cups at Le Meridien Piccadilly).
Staff are attentive throughout, ensuring we have everything we need, without making us feel hurried. As we reach the end of the meal we realise that although we're not hungry, we don't have the usual post-afternoon tea fullness going on. Quantity-wise, it's not the most satisfying afternoon tea available (pretty lucky, we later realised, as the presentation of the sweet course has been designed to make taking any leftovers home in a doggy bag pretty much impossible - clever).
We're presented with a bill - including an £11 service which isn't shown as optional. Given that the food we've just eaten doesn't feel worth anything like £88, we begrudgingly pay the £99 total, not realising until we get home later and check the menu online that it's optional. Had we known that at the time, we certainly wouldn't have coughed up.
Bottom line: this afternoon tea isn't worth anything like £100 for two people, and we're not the only one that think it. As we're poring over the bill, the woman on the table next to us confides that her and her husband feel they've paid way over the odds for the afternoon tea they've just had with their two children too. Perhaps that's the theatricality we were waiting for - your money disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory afternoon tea at One Aldwych Hotel. From £44 per person.
Check out some of the other afternoon teas that I've loved and loathed:
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