Afternoon tea review: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at One Aldwych

Things are off to a whimsical start at Charlie and the Chocolate Factory afternoon tea, as we're presented with menus adorned with doodles of Dahl's own characters. The Salt family and co. inform us of the feast we're about to tuck into, including quite the array of teas. The cocoa tea turns out to be be a fine choice, smelling deliciously of chocolate but retaining a subtle taste which works as the ideal palette cleanser between courses. The hot chocolate, although fine, is nothing special.

That sets the tone for the entire meal. There's no theatricality behind the meal, no dedication to the theme beyond those menus. It's Roald Dahl for goodness sake, Willy Wonka - the master of theatricality. The Alice Tea Party afternoon tea may have left something to be desired in terms of service, but at least it committed to the theme with playing cards and hatter's hats strewn around the room, a pearl necklace draped across the sugar bowl. Here though, nothing.

Our first course arrives, a selection of savouries consisting of two sandwiches each, a brioche roll and a mini quiche. The sandwiches and roll are fine, nothing standout, and the quiche is a warm, tasty mouthful, but highlight of this course are the cheese scones served with bacon jam. We're disappointed that the food hasn't arrived on the traditional tiered stand, but when the next course arrives, the reason for this becomes clear.

We're delivered a shared bread basket full of mixed baked goodies. The plain scones are served with the traditional cream and jam, and an added bonus of lemon curd, which I enjoyed but my friend found too bitter. The banana and walnut mini loaf cakes also pass the test - fruit cake isn't really my thing, but it's tasty nonetheless. Highlight though, are the chocolate financiers (brownies, basically), little teardrop shaped droplets of gooey, chocolatey heaven.

And then we're on to the final flourish, the sweet course. Served on a podium, we've got; chocolate and caramel milkshake, candy floss, chocolate eggs filled with cheesecake, a blueberry and white chocolate cake pop and a bubblegum panna cotta.

Ok, the presentation's cute (yes, we both consider stowing those mini glass bottles away in our handbags until we think the better of it), but there's still nothing 'Charlie' about it. The chocolate and caramel milkshake is delish, but things peak there. The panna cotta is sweet and inoffensive, the cake pop fails in texture and tries to overcompensate in taste. The candy floss is... well, it's candy floss.

In a flurry of misguided optimism, we leave those chocolate eggs until last. The cheesecake filling is so sweet, we end up scraping it out onto our plates. As it turns out, the filling was all that was masking the fact that it's cheap, nasty chocolate. The eggs remain uneaten (and the chef could learn a thing or two from whoever puts together those delicious white chocolate egg cups at Le Meridien Piccadilly).

Staff are attentive throughout, ensuring we have everything we need, without making us feel hurried. As we reach the end of the meal we realise that although we're not hungry, we don't have the usual post-afternoon tea fullness going on. Quantity-wise, it's not the most satisfying afternoon tea available (pretty lucky, we later realised, as the presentation of the sweet course has been designed to make taking any leftovers home in a doggy bag pretty much impossible - clever).

We're presented with a bill - including an £11 service which isn't shown as optional. Given that the food we've just eaten doesn't feel worth anything like £88, we begrudgingly pay the £99 total, not realising until we get home later and check the menu online that it's optional. Had we known that at the time, we certainly wouldn't have coughed up.

Bottom line: this afternoon tea isn't worth anything like £100 for two people, and we're not the only one that think it. As we're poring over the bill, the woman on the table next to us confides that her and her husband feel they've paid way over the odds for the afternoon tea they've just had with their two children too. Perhaps that's the theatricality we were waiting for - your money disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory afternoon tea at One Aldwych Hotel. From £44 per person.


Check out some of the other afternoon teas that I've loved and loathed:

• Alice's Tea Party in Wonderland at Taj 51 Hotel.
• Tea Terrace, Guildford
• Board games afternoon tea at One Warwick Park
• Brunch afternoon tea at Le Meridien Piccadilly
• Genie's Cave afternoon tea at Cutter & Squidge

Afternoon tea review: Board games at One Warwick Park

Ok, I'll admit it; this afternoon tea thing is becoming a bit of an obsession now. But considering how much it normally costs, what's a girl to do when she sees one advertised for £16? Call up your partner in crime and get yourself booked in of course.

The tea in question was a board games themed afternoon tea at One Warwick Park in Tunbridge Wells, to celebrate the launch of the new Tunbridge Wells Monopoly. Although the £16 price sounded too good to be true, it was indeed correct (or you could pay £22 for prosecco or £25 for champagne, but #driving). 

The venue's a bit of an odd one, being split across two different buildings, but having arrived in the wrong one, a kind chap on reception escorted us to the right place, a light, airy and modern (and at 2pm on a Sunday, almost entirely empty) restaurant. 

Our food arrived almost immediately, a traditional afternoon tea stand with sandwiches on the bottom, scones on the middle and cakes on the top. The sandwiches were fine, the scones smaller than expected (which actually came as a relief when the inevitable afternoon tea fatigue set in). The jam was a highlight though, one of the sweetest, juiciest I've ever tasted.


On to the all-important cake layer, where our little grey cells were given as much of a workout as our jaws. This is where the board games theme came into play, and although some of it had been explained to us by the waitress, we'd forgotten by the time we'd worked our way up. 

The battenberg is clearly supposed to be a chess board, and the raspberry jelly cubes (thankfully not Turkish delight) were probably meant to be dice. We assigned the chocolate cups the roll of draughts pieces, leaving the macarons a mystery. Those iced biscuits had us puzzling for ages, turning them upside down to figure out if the writing said 'O U P' or 'D M O', neither of which meant anything to us. It was only hours later, back at home, that it clicked; OWP. One Warwick Park. Altogether, a solid selection of cakes, the standout being those chocolate tarts which were a lot richer than they looked.

Top points to One Warwick Park for service, cost and value. Although the board games afternoon tea was limited edition and has now finished, One Warwick Park offers a regular, permanent afternoon tea for the same price. Don't worry guys, it's on my list.

L'Amore restaurant, One Warwick Park hotel, 1 Warwick Park, Tunbridge Wells, TN2 5TA.

See also:

• Afternoon tea review: Alice Tea Party at Taj 51
• Afternoon tea review: B'n'T Brunch Afternoon Tea at Le Meridien Piccadilly.
• Afternoon tea review: Tea Terrace, Guildford

Afternoon tea review: Alice Tea Party in Wonderland at Taj 51, London

Yep, that's right, two afternoon teas in a week. Not even sorry (read: will definitely be sorry when I have no trousers that fit me for work tomorrow). This time, we've fallen down the rabbit hole to Alice's Tea Party in Wonderland at the Taj 51 Buckingham Gate. This isn't the Alice themed afternoon tea which most people have heard about - that one is over at the Sanderson Hotel. I've not yet tried it, so if anyone fancies treating me...

Taj 51 is a fancy hotel in St James's, just a 5 minute stroll from Buckingham Palace. After having a poke around the exotic courtyard, our prompt arrival saw us being shown into the rather fancy lounge to wait until our 3pm booking. We'd skipped lunch in anticipation, so by the time we were called, a few minutes later than expected, the complimentary apples on the reception desk were looking all too tempting.

The Kona restaurant is an intimate affair, split into three smaller rooms with five tables apiece, people enjoying a mixture of the Alice tea, the Sherlock tea, and the hotel's regular afternoon tea. There are just two sittings a day, so everyone took their seats at the same time, adding to the 'tea party' effect.

Our table was wonderfully decorated, with giant playing cards thrown haphazardly over it, a pearl necklace draped though the sugar bowl, and the mad hatter's hat perched whimsically on the windowsill next to us. We took a seat, and waited. And waited while all of the other tables were served their food... and waited while one table received their second course before we even had our first.

Finally, 40 minutes after our afternoon tea was due to start, our sandwiches arrived, and it was looking like the wait hadn't been worth it. They were served up on a regular plate - not the tiered cake stand expected of afternoon tea. They were cut into rectangles rather than triangles, not a deal breaker, it just looked a bit like the chef couldn't be bothered with the niceties of afternoon tea. The coronation chicken sandwiches were straight-out-the-fridge cold, rendering them dry, but tasty nonetheless. The ham and cheese and tuna mayo offerings were an improvement - warmer, but still dry bread - and the cream cheese and cucumber was disappointingly bland, lacking both the crunch of the cucumber and the creaminess of the cheese. So far, so disappointing.

Things improved enormously with the prompter arrival of our next course, the coveted cake stand, complete with scones, cakes, jellies and all manner of other sugary goodness. Unlike the sandwiches, the Alice theme positively shone out of these offerings. Highlight was the clock face macaron, probably the most photogenic food item I've ever eaten, although the bubblegum flavour didn't quite hit the mark - strawberry or raspberry would have done quite nicely instead.

The 'eat me' and 'drink me' signs were a nice touch, although the yoghurty type substance was an odd addition to afternoon tea, and one we could have lived without.

Finally admitting defeat halfway through the second tier, and not having even given separate the Victoria sponge cake a second glance, we asked for the rest to be packed up and taken home, which the staff were more than happy to do for us. Our goodies were returned to us in Tupperware boxes, which, on closer inspection, were missing our untouched watermelon jelly chocolate cups.

When we asked for them back, the waiter said he'd return to the kitchen 'to see if they were still available' - we'd paid for them so we'd flippin' well hope so! A few minutes' later he returned, second Tupperware box in hand. Makes you wonder how many people leave with only half of what they've paid for.

The staff were all very friendly and more than happy to help, but as a whole, the afternoon tea felt rather badly executed. A slow and disappointing start blossomed into a rather enjoyable (and oh-so Instagrammable) afternoon tea, although from the reviews I've read, you might be better sticking to the original Alice tea at the Sanderson.

Alice's Tea Party in Wonderland at Taj 51. There's also a Sherlock-themed tea available in the same restaurant.

 See also:

• Afternoon tea review: B'n'T Brunch Afternoon Tea at Le Meridien Piccadilly.
• Afternoon tea review: Tea Terrace, Guildford

Afternoon tea review: Tea Terrace, Guildford

Another weekend, another afternoon tea. This time we're five floors above Guildford High Street, tucked away inside House of Fraser's Tea Terrace.

It describes itself as a "very English tearoom",  all chintzy vintage crockery, literary quotes scrawled elegantly on the walls, and tempting cakes under huge glass domes. There's an air of Alice in Wonderland to it as well, some of the chairs larger than others, all brightly coloured - organised chaos, really.

Having navigated Guildford's one-way system (twice, for reasons that I won't go into here), any sort of tea and cake would be welcome at this point, but we're here for the afternoon tea. That alone involves four choices (Traditional/Celebration/Indulgence/Gluten-Free), and indeed choices within choices. Unlike other afternoon teas, you can pick and choose your elements here - ideal for fussy eaters like me.

Each person can pick two from a list of eight sandwich fillings, and two from a choice of five scones (both savoury and sweet). There's nothing groundbreaking in the sandwich choices (cucumber, egg mayo, salmon, tuna mayo, cheese and chutney, etc.) but the scones offer a couple of unusual choices - in October, the apple and cinnamon seems like an apt choice, but I can't guarantee it'd have the same appeal on a less autumnal day.

With the important business of ordering out of the way, there's time to take a recce of the venue. There's an outdoor decked area running down one side of the building, with what looks like a pond, but on a miserable weekend, it's not an appealing option. Instead, we stay in the airy, conservatory-esque restaurant, watching the rain and mist roll over the hills surrounding Guildford as we tuck into our lunch.

As is always best, we'll start at the very beginning; our sandwiches. The cheddar cheese and chutney is a pleasant surprise, the chutney sweeter than anticipated - even with the sweetest of teeth, you'd struggle to eat more than a couple of dainty triangle sandwiches of it. Our other choice, the egg mayo was rather uninspiring in itself, but provided a much needed foil to dull the intensity of the chutney.

Up a layer we hop, to the scones. Being one for sitting firmly on the fence, I'd gone for one savoury and one sweet; a cheddar cheese and herb, and a cranberry and white chocolate. Beginning with the cheese one (I'm not a complete heathen), things are looking good, and a dollop of butter sent the warm cheesiness down a treat. Ample cream and jam were provided for my sweet option, but to be honest, I could have lived without the cranberries (afternoon tea chefs take note: you cannot beat a warm choc chip scone).

 Finally, we get to the literal and metaphorical pinnacle of the whole afternoon tea rigmarole; the cake. I'm sorry to say that The Tea Terrace let itself down a bit here. Quantity-wise, things were impressive, with three generous slices of loaf cake each; lemon, apple cake and carrot cake. But three tiers and a mug of hot chocolate in, it's not quantity you're after, and I couldn't help feeling that things would be improved by replacing the three slices of loaf cake with one slice of the more appealing cakes available individually at the counter.

Would I go back to the Tea Terrace? Yes I would - it's a nice place to go for a special occasion, that doesn't cost too much, and doesn't need to be planned or booked too far in advance. The food we had was mostly of a very good standard, the portion sizes were generous, and the staff efficient, friendly and attentive.

A word of warning: this place gets busy at weekends, and doesn't take bookings. We arrived around 12.30 on a Sunday and were seated straight away, on one of the last available tables. By the time we left a couple of hours later, there were about eight groups waiting for tables. It's not only afternoon tea and cakes; all manner of sandwiches, paninis and main meals were arriving at tables around us, looking quite tempting.

The Tea Terrace, House of Fraser Guildford (and two London venues).
See also: Afternoon tea review: B'n'T Brunch Afternoon Tea at Le Meridien Piccadilly.

B 'N' T Brunch Afternoon Tea at Le Meridien Piccadilly: review

Paging London: someone's finally started serving up a Full English breakfast inside a Yorkshire pudding and yes, it really is the stuff dreams are made of.

It's part of the highlight of a new brunch-themed afternoon tea which launches on 29 April. I had a little sneak preview, and it's every bit as good as it sounds. Choose from a gin-based cocktail (the Berries and Tea is the perfect blend of sweet and sour) or bottomless prosecco and get stuck in.

Naturally, the Full English Breakfast Yorkshires were our first port of call. They've got everything going on in there - bacon, sausage, egg, beans, mushrooms. It's basically a posh grease-fest. A charcoal bread open sandwich (not really to my taste) and Eggs Piccadilly (an English muffin filled with smoked salmon and egg, among other things - delicious) finished off the top tier, and it was onto the scone round.

I was fortunate enough to be dining with someone who doesn't like chocolate, so it was a double round of chocolate and raspberry scones for me. The delicious warmth meant delightfully oozy chocolate chips. The raspberries mentioned on the menu were somewhat lacking, but weren't really necessary anyway.

The chocolate brownies could have done without their sweet potato garnish, and it's a shame the Yorkshire puddings weren't hot (although their contents were). Otherwise, this is the ideal afternoon tea to satisfy both sweet toothed diners and those with more savoury tastes.

B 'N' T Brunch Afternoon Tea at the Terrace Grill & Bar, Le Meridian Piccadilly, launches on 29 April 2017. Prices start at £27.50.

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